• Morné Lötter

What makes relationships work and strong (a.c.t.s.)

We’re always looking for opportunities to work on our relationships with others in a direct and indirect manner. We’re seeking opportunities to fill and fulfil our live goals regarding relationships. Our family, our friends and our familiar people are in need of our absolute and devote attention to relationships. There’s a way to be better in relationships and that’s to be true to you! Know what you need and want, but in the same breath give what you know and want.

This acronym can be used in relationship therapy and restoration. Don't just look at it, but own it and make it yours. Make a difference before its too late:


Reading: Matthew 22: 34-40

Synopsis: Matthew 22: 34- 40 speaks about two equally important relationships. The first and most important relationship is your relationship with God.

The second and most important relationship is your relationship with people.


A - Attitude - You cannot have any relationship with the wrong attitude whether it is with people or even with God. The lesson you are going to have to learn is going to cost you if you keep on having a stinking attitude. A stinking attitude will keep you sinking in any type of relationship! When your relationship isn't working check your attitude.


Jonah becomes very angry because God has decided NOT to destroy the people of Nineveh. God forgave the whole City after their confessions! God teaches him a lesson that people are more important than his potted plant. (these days things that give you shade and protection or security in this life are more important than the next person).


John C Maxwell said: "Your attitude determines your latitude."

C - Commitment - so too is commitment probably also one of the important characteristics that can make any relationship work. You might say relationships are a 2-way street of giving and receiving ... you are right it is so, but my question to you is have you done everything in your power to ensure the other party of your complete commitment.


Let me tell you a story of commitment: A pig and a hen sharing the same barn have heard of a church's program to feed the hungry. The pig and the chicken discussed how they could help. The chicken says, 'I got it! We will provide bacon and eggs for the church to feed the hungry. The pig thinks about the proposal and says: 'There is one problem with your bacon and egg solution. For you, it only requires a contribution, but it means some of my total dedication! This is the cost of true discipleship.


T - Transparency - Being transparent simply means that I will not hide things in my relationship. The first reaction of any situation in any relationship is to hide things from your partner due to the fear of rejection. So what do you do? You withhold the truth about yourself. David had a very good relationship with God, but he tried to hide his extramarital affair with Bathsheba and at the end of the day, his fornication cost him. If sincerity is a problem for you, study your weakness not to make those same mistakes again. Be open to your strengths, but also your weaknesses.


S - Stability - everyone seeks stability in relationships. The larger the building the deeper the foundation should be. The more important the relationship the deeper the foundation needs to be. You know what I'm talking about when we talk about foundations. Paul refers to the foundation concept in a letter he wrote to the church of Corinth and tells them in chapter 3 that there is no other foundation than Christ and people must build on this foundation and there are some who use precious materials like gold and silver, but others with hay and grass etc. The foundation who is Christ brings stability, but beware of what and who you allow to come and build in your life. Why is there so much instability in churches today, because we were not careful for people to just build on our lives and come to speak into our lives. Paul even said that no one should just hastily lay on their holy hands On others.


Don't let the things of this world be more important than your relationships. If you have a difficult time speaking with respect to your subordinates God someday will have a difficult time listening to you! Jesus said as far as you've done this to the least of men you've done it unto me. (Read Matthew 25:40)


"When do we know when someone is dead? When people through dirt on you and you do not feel it". Jentezen Franklin


Today I want to ask you what you bring to your relationships? Do you bring all kinds of evil? Or do you bring Jesus to your relationships? All of your relationships?

Do you bring uncertainty or instability Or Do you bring faith and love into your relationships? When you speak to someone you need to speak to them the same way as you would speak to Jesus with loving compassion.

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