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  • Writer's pictureMorné Lötter

Relationships and the ups and downs we face

We all face some challenges in and through relationships be it a marriage, fiancé, work-related or even just the regular cashier relationships. We face challenges because we choose to sometimes not be clothed by Christ because we would like to say our say and stand our ground.

With faith aside, my relationships will fall one after the other. I do not want to even try doing relationships without Christ as the middle-point of all of it. Jesus is the axle of every single relationship in my life. Have I counselled couples before and noticed that Christ isn't the axle of their lives? Yes many many couples, but most of these couples never ever get to the next level in their relationships. Have I treated them fairly in a Counselor and Counselee relationship only applying non-Christian therapeutic methods? I do not see any fairness in that Because I'm a Christian Counsellor and with that comes a Christian therapeutic approach and without Christ, I'm nothing and would all efforts be fruitless. It will be like me trying to ignite a fire without light. I've seen countless people who have tried the non-Christian therapeutic manner to bring hope into their relationships, but that hope soon withers away with the changing currents and seasons in relationships.

Give a person a fish and he will always need a fish, but give him a fishing rod (R.O.D.) and they will learn in the process, but also grow independent of continued therapy and Pastoral intervention in their relationships. Constant therapy costs a lot of money. To buy fish all of the time will cost you a fortune, but to catch them yourself will save you your money and time.

Sharing faith believes makes us stronger and more reliable in our relationships. Any relationship is better with the right 'middleman'. If the centre players in any kind of ballgame are removed not even the best players can do what they need to do on the field.

Will you accept the R.O.D. or will you collect the fish?

= Recognition of Diversity

We should recognise that all human beings have diverse backgrounds and not one person on the planet is the same. We're not all Peers. The only thing that makes everyone peers is that we are all humans. We have to train our brains to remember we're not the same, and we also do not think and elaborate about anything in the same manner. Why? Because of our diverse composition.When we train people to respect diversity we're one step ahead in our relationships. The reason why we see so many unhappy people in this world is that many people try to fit into the box of those they try to impress. To impress and devalue yourself in such a way will only depress you in the long run.

Everything starts with you taking up the lead in the restoration process. If you need to attend counselling... do so. If you need to attend church.... do so. If you need a holiday... do so, but don't let one day go by you not valuing the moments you have on planet earth with loved ones and others.

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